Saturday, September 22, 2012

Confessions of an Introverted Blogger

As you may or may not have noticed, I made the decision very recently to dive into this whole blogging thing with gusto and stop being so....half-assed about it, for lack of a better phrase.  I've been working hard to post regularly, to participate in link-ups, comments, etc with other bloggers more established than myself and to shamelessly promote my little baby of a blog.  
 
 
I decided that if I love this, which I really do, I should put my whole heart into it and see what happens.  My goals are not to gain thousands of followers, to score a book deal, and to make a living with this silly little adventure {not that I would necessarily say no to any of those things, mind you!}.  I just want to feel the way it feels to be involved in something that lights a fire in me, which writing like this does.  I haven't felt that in a long time...and I like it
 
 
The thing is...sharing this part of myself with, well, literally the entire world is terrifying to me.  And do you know what's funny?  Sharing it with people I know in real life has actually been 1000 times more terrifying than sharing it with strangers across the globe.  It just seems easier to pour out my heart to people I will likely never meet. 
 
 
  In the last couple weeks, the result of me opening up and being more public with my blog is that lots of friends and acquaintances of mine are discovering FUMC for the first time and while the response has been nothing but good...it's causing my heart to palpitate constantly.
 
 
I feel like I'm an awkward 7th grader with braces and a training bra again and I'm standing in front of my English class reading a story I wrote and being terrified that the other kids are going to laugh at me or make fun of what I did or thought or said.  
 
 
As I sit here typing this my phone has buzzed twice with friends leaving messages to the effect of, "Why haven't I seen your blog before??"  How does a grown women with seemingly high self-esteem confess, "Uh, well...I was afraid you would make fun of me."    


This quote from Eleanor Roosevelt has been running through my head in a constant loop the last week or so...


"Do one thing every day that scares you." -Eleanor Roosevelt (HerzingOnline.edu) 
 
It's been my mantra.  I keep thinking that the fact that this scares me so much probably means it's a worthwhile endeavor.  And so, here I am.  Bearing my soul to all the world, including my own little slice of it.  
 
Do one thing every day that scares you. -- Eleanor Roosevelt 
 
Graphic credit:  http://www.fitwoman.com/blog/where-the-magic-happens
 
 
 
 
So, my friends...can anyone else relate? Am I the only blogger that's every experienced this?  I can't be....can I?  Chime in and make me feel better, won't you?  
 
 
In the meantime, thanks to everyone who's had nice things to say. It means more than you realize.  I feel like Sally Field..."You like me! You really like me!" 
 
 
And also, don't be afraid to offer constructive criticism and advice.  I really will welcome it and I promise I can take it....as long as you don't laugh and point and steal my lunch money.
 
 
xoxo,
 
  

2 comments:

  1. Jen, your passion and your writings are phenomenal. Really. And you know I don't dish out compliments unless I really mean it. Thanks for sharing your honest, sometimes silly :) and awkward truths. Doing the things that scare you does help you grow and live with that spark of fear/excitement. (Which is why I kind of joke about going through a concealed carry class :) I look forward to future posts. 'You go, girl!'

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